


beat of my drums

by mangofields



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Band Fic, Death, Fluff, Gay Panic, Indie Music, M/M, Panic Attacks, bokuto plays the drums, mention of mental illnesses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28845462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangofields/pseuds/mangofields
Summary: Bokuto is a prodigy drummer- one of the best. Akaashi is canonly sarcastic as usual. but bokuto is hot and akaashi's brain can't function around him yet.not sure where I'm going with this.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	1. The Band

**Author's Note:**

> well hello hello again.
> 
> published my first fic yesterday and got 13 hits do I call LA or does LA call me? 
> 
> ok bad jokes aside I was getting bobba (as usual) and suddenly a band AU where Bokuto plays the drums just popped into my head and it hasn't left so um here ya go!
> 
> sorry I really can't write but my thoughts would not leave me alone lmao.

* * *

Akaashi wasn’t sure why he let Kenma convince him to come tonight. He told himself it was the fact that kenma promised to buy him lunch tomorrow and not the fact that he hadn’t left his house in weeks.

But now here he was in between sweaty bodies that wouldn’t stop jostling him as he tried and failed to cover his ears from the loud and honestly obnoxious sounds.

It wasn’t until the current band had finished their set that he had time to scan the audience members for Kuroo and Kenma.

Akaashi knew Kuroo was a roadie for his friend’s band that was playing tonight, but he couldn’t spot his perpetual bedhead in the crowd or Kenma’s two-toned hair that always seemed to have roots peeking through no matter how often he bleached it.

So he settled with walking through the crowd that had mellowed out slightly in between the sets as he made his way to a stool at the bar- there was no way he could stand to be at this venue any longer without a drink.

He sent Kenma a quick text to meet him at the bar then ordered a beer.

After a few minutes, Kenma slunk up to him with a pout on his face.

“I don’t like it here, it's too loud.”

Akaashi agreed but he was a little confused; Kenma was the one who  asked bribed him to come with him tonight.

“Kenma weren’t you the one who invited me?”

“Well yeah… but Kuroo makes me come every time, and if I have to suffer so do you.” 

“Gee thanks.” Akaashi deadpanned. But before he could ask where Kuroo was Kenma was gone.

Akaashi scanned the room once more for the couple and spotted them standing together near the stage.

Akaashi made his way towards his friends with a bored look. 

That is until he glanced at the stage and nearly dropped the bear he was holding.

Jesus christ that had to be the hottest man he had ever seen.

He had a gray tank top that showcased his thick biceps, and didn’t do much to hide his abdominal muscles with the way it was fitted.

He practically lit up the entire venue with his wide grin.

He was a star.

And then it happened their eyes met.

If it was possible the man’s smile got even wider. And he started waving at Akaashi.

Akaashi swore he would faint.

Until he noticed that Kuroo and Kenma were next to him.

“BO HEY!”

Akaashi glanced at Kuroo who was now waving his arms frantically at the drummer.

Oh, so he was smiling at Kuroo. Of course, he didn’t even know Akaashi.

Kenma shot Kuroo a death glare which Kuroo actually winced at. Cute.

“Sorry ken ken I’ll be quieter.”

Kenma just nodded back at him and allowed kuroo to ruffle his hair and rest his chin on Kenma’s shoulder.

Akaashi put back on his bored expression after that temporary slip.

“Kaashi!”

Akaashi didn’t even try to refrain from rolling his eyes. 

“Kenma, did you hear something. It kind of sounded like my name but I’m not sure I think it was missing a letter.”

Kenma simply shrugged.

“Ok fine fine. Akaashi.”

“Yes Kuroo? Is there something you want?”

“There is in fact something I want dear sweet pretty Akaashi.”

“Stop flirting with me, you're literally using your boyfriend as a chin rest right now.”

With that Kenma shrugged off Kuroo and glared at him.

Kuroo held his hands up in mock surrender.

“Oh Ken Ken, bugaboo, babycakes, sugar plum, baby boy you know I’m loyal to you, and only you.” Kuroo paused to make kissy faces at Kenma which got him a huff in return. “But see my dear old pal, friend, comrade, Bo is sadly single and so I wanted to introduce you tonight which is why I had Kenma bring you.”

Akaashi turned his attention from Kuroo to Kenma. 

“You what? Kenma! You allowed Kuroo to do this to me?”

Kenma hid a hint of a smile in Kuroo’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry Kaashi!” Akaashi shot him a look that could curdle milk. “Akaashi whatever. Anyways don’t worry Bo’s totally hot. I saw you ogling him earlier too.” 

Akaashi wanted to wipe that smug smirk off of Kuroo’s face, but he was too busy trying to hide his blush which only increased when Kuroo started cackling.

“Not funny. I was just taken back by his hair.”

“Ohoho you better not tell Bo that. He loves his hair.” Kuroo leaned in to whisper to Akaashi. “You might ruin your chance.”

Akaashi choked on his drink.

Before he could come up with something to say the band started and Akaashi swore he could feel the way the music moved throughout the audience members.

This wasn’t anything like the first band.

This was tiny rainbows reflecting off freshly fallen snow.

The sound of pencils tapping right before inspiration hit.

The feeling of kicking against the ground to propel yourself forward and gliding on your sisters skateboard.

It was amazing and the audience seemed to reflect that in the way they cheered them on.

Akaashi wanted to write about it. 

It had been so long since he wrote for fun.

But this made him want to write something just for himself.

His heart synced with the beat of the drum and he watched as the drummer- Bo was his name maybe?- nodded his head and moved with the beat as he tapped out a melody worth a thousand words.

Words Akaashi knew he couldn’t capture anymore no matter how hard he tried.

His drumming was unlike anything that Akaashi had ever experienced. Better than that eureka feeling when the right word would come to him. And he allowed himself to bask in the feeling.

And that’s when the grey haired vocalist started singing.

It sounded like an angel had graced their presence.

Akaashi couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

His fingers itched for a pen for the first time in months.

He settled for staring at the drummer.

~*~

All too soon it was over.

But before he could feel disappointed he was in front of him.

The drummer.

Akaashi swore his heart would beat out of his chest but he schooled his expression and worked on making sure he didn’t suffer any more embarrassment in the hands of Kuroo tonight.

“BO!”

“HEY HEY HEY!”

“DUDE THAT WAS AMAZING.”

“WHAT DID YOU EXPECT I WAS PERFORMING AND I’M THE BEST.”

Kenma tugged on Kuroo’s sleeve and shot him a look that seemed to say  _ ‘can we leave’ _

Akaashi was kind of jealous of how they could communicate without words but he tried not to dwell on it.

The drummer seemed to snap out of his testosterone fueled conversation- if you could call it a conversation with Kuroo and turned to look at Akaashi.

“HEY HEY HEY! My name’s Bokuto!”

Akaashi usually found loud people annoying.

Usually.

“Hello Bokuto-san I’m Akaashi.”

Akaashi wasn’t sure if it would be polite or not to offer his hand in a hand shake, but he observed Bokuto’s sweat soaked shirt and decided against one.

He thought it was unfair that Bokuto was still so hot covered in sweat.

“Ok Kaashi it is!”

Akaashi didn’t deem it necessary to correct him.

Kuroo did.

“Oh no Bo you can’t call him that!”

Akaashi could have swore Bokuto’s hair drooped when he turned to look at Akaashi.

“I can’t call you Kaashi?” Bokuto asked with a pout.

“No Bokuto-san it’s alright you can call me whatever you want.”

Akaashi blushed after he realized just exactly what he said.

Kuroo let out a whistle “whatever he wants huh?” Akaashi’s blush intensified “Bo your pretty privilege is showing.”

Bokuto didn’t seem to notice Kuroo’s comments, or maybe he just ignored them. Instead he turned to Akaashi with a wide eyed grin.

“So Kaashi are you coming to the after party to celebrate my awesomeness?”

“Maybe. Kenma are you going?”

“No. My social battery is at zero. Let’s go Kuroo.”

“Oh well I should probably go home too then. I wouldn’t want to impose and I would know no one.”

Akaashi thought that would be enough of a reason to not go.

But apparently Bokuto disagreed.

“What?! No way Kaashi you gotta! You know me right? Plus it’s only gonna be the rest of my band, and then some of their friends and stuff! Like 20 people tops! And my band’s super nice.”

Akaashi figured he wouldn’t be able to worm his way out of this so he gave in and agreed to join Bokuto at the after party.

  
  


~*~

  
  


He and Bokuto stood outside the doors of a generic hotel.

He wasn’t quite sure what to say.

What do you say to someone when your thoughts are put at 3x speed around them?

“Nice weather tonight?”   
  


If Akaashi could crawl into a hole and never come out again he would. 

This is what he came up with? 

His entire job was writing and he came up with a conversation starter that had less spice than mashed potatoes.

Luckily Bokuto didn’t seem deterred by his blandess.

“Yeah! I love this kind of weather like it’s almost spring but not quite! I can’t wait till the sakura trees are in full bloom!”

“I agree Bokuto-san shall we head into the party then?”

Bokuto just nodded and they headed in.

It was weird it’s like the second he brought up sakura trees he seemed to deflate a bit.

Akaashi made note of that for later.

That was kind of his thing. He made notes on people. Reading them like books was easier that way for him. 

He liked being able to predict what people would do.

He based his choices on what he thought would have the best outcome for him.

He didn’t like surprises; they unnerved him.

  
  



	2. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi isn't used to feeling this way.
> 
> and he's not sure he deserves to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok I wrote this after writing the chapter I'm about to post so if things don't add up I'm so so so sorry. it was my birthday like 3 days ago and I also had semester finals for math today so it's been a bit hectic. I can't promise updates will be more regular. but!!! I will try! ALSO I UPDATED THE TAGS PLEASE CHECK!!
> 
> I don't want to spoil but
> 
> tw// minor mention of depression, panic attacks

Akaashi and Bokuto entered the room where the party was being held.

When they got in there the first thing he was greeted with was Taylor swift singing about screaming in the rain or something.

And two men arguing over the importance of quote on quote ‘trashy american pop music’ he deemed it unimportant considering how little people seemed to care about those two.

The next thing he noticed was how few people were there.

It was less of a party and more of an intimate hangout sort of thing.

Akaashi was kind of surprised, he didn’t like that.

He was relying on a big party.

One where he could talk to Bokuto for a few minutes before slipping out through the crowd.

He wasn’t sure what he would do now.

Before he had time to fully assess the situation though Bokuto was talking to him and using the nickname he had given him.

“Hey Kaashi!”

“Yes Bokuto-san”

“Okay, first you can drop the honorific! We’re friends!” 

Akaashi was surprised for the second time that night already.

Friends?

Akaashi couldn’t think of a time where he had befriended someone right away upon meeting them, usually it slowly happened over the span of a couple months at least, but with Bokuto it felt almost natural to call him a friend already.

Almost. 

“And two!!!! Let’s dance!”

Akaashi widened his eye’s.

Dance?

No one else was dancing; it felt wrong.

Plus this was hardly the music for dancing.

Although he doubted Bokuto cared about any of that.

He thought maybe he could get out of it if he brought up the music part.

“Bokuto this isn’t dancing music.” 

He could see Bokuto smile a bit at him for dropping the honorific.

Before he could appreciate Bokuto’s face more he ruined it with his need to talk.

“Well maybe this isn’t traditional dancing music, but we can dance to whatever’s playing right now still!! Just pretend it’s some really dramatic song instead of K-pop or whatever Suga’s playing.”

Great.

He wasn’t getting out of this one was he.

Oh well at least his dance partner was hot.

He surrendered.

“Okay, I guess.”

“It’s fine if you- wait okay?!” Bokuto’s face broke out into a smile. “I mean of course you said okay I’m awesome!!”

Damn it. 

Looks like he actually could have gotten out of this one.

Too late now.

And if he was being honest with himself he kind of did want to dance with Bokuto.

Just in a more private setting maybe.

Akaashi let Bokuto pull him by his hand into the middle of the room.

Jesus did he want everyone to stare?

“Now we have to wait until a new song because we can’t start dancing to a song when it’s already started!!”

Great, now they had to stand in the middle of the room awkwardly until the next song.

This was becoming more annoying than exciting.

“Okay if you say so.”

Before he could convince himself to leave though the next song started.

He got ready to awkwardly shuffle or something.

That is until Bokuto grabbed his hand.

He felt himself blushing even as he tried not to.

And it didn’t help when Bokuto then grabbed his waist and started swaying him throughout the room.

“Bokuto I didn’t agree to slow dance. what are you doing.”

“But Kaashi, this is more fun than regular dancing!! Plus it’s very main character like.”

Did this man not get enough attention as it was or something.

He wasn’t really annoyed though.

How could he be?

He was dancing with quite possibly the hottest man alive.

It was terrifying, but it was also the best feeling ever.

He felt alive for the first time in months.

Under the lighting of a cheap disco ball Akaashi opened his eyes and saw the words he would use to describe everything in that moment.

The word he would use to describe the way it felt to spin and not be scared of being dropped.

Bokuto made him feel safe.

He was safe.

He felt the hint of a smile on his lips and he turned to face Bokuto who smiled right back.

He felt so liberated so vulnerable.

So vulnerable.

No.

He couldn’t feel like this.

He didn’t deserve to.

It clicked.

And he ran.

He ran and ran until he came across a door that had the word exit marked on it.

Not sure if it would trigger some kind of fire alarm or not he opened it; it didn’t trigger any kind of alarm.

He wasn’t sure he would care if it did.

He was faced with stairs that only led up.

He took them hoping they would lead him away from here.

From his problems, and their solutions.

When he reached the top he was faced with a vast expanse of a flat roofing.

He walked to the middle and laid on his back staring at the stars.

He could pick out a few constellations Kenma had once pointed out to him in highschool.

Before he could try to distract himself with the stars though his eyesight started to get blurry.

Blurring with the tears he had been holding back since that article.

Negative Review Pushes Band Member to the Edge of Death.

He’d been told so many times by so many people it wasn’t his fault.

The person had already had a record of mental illness before that.

It wasn’t his fault.

Not his fault.

But empty words didn’t help.

They never had.

Akaashi didn’t deserve Bokuto, and Bokuto certainly didn’t deserve someone like him.

Bokuto was like the sun, and Akaashi was just a distant ball of gas.

He lay there for a few more minutes, or maybe it was hours he couldn’t tell.

Eventually the tears stopped and he felt himself drifting in and out of consciousness.

He was cold but he didn’t want to go back in and grab his coat he had left in the hotel room's closet until he knew Bokuto would be gone.

Just as he felt himself finally succumbing to sleep on the roof he heard a soft ‘Akaashi?’.

He bolted upright and stared at the person on the other end of the roof.

“Bokuto-san?”

He was tired and sad and he didn’t want Bokuto seeing him like this.

Or really seeing him at all.

Bokuto just stared at him for what felt like forever.

Akaashi waited, waited for him to leave.

To try to pry details about why he was crying from him.

But he didn’t.

He sat on the ground and spread his arms out.

Akaashi looked at him wondering what he was doing.

Bokuto smiled faintly at him.

He looked safe.

And this time Akaashi didn’t run away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um yeah??
> 
> ok posting next chapter now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOKUTO'S POV!!!
> 
> I wrote this over the course of two weeks in random chunks and I would go back and add random stuff it's just a bunch of word stew I'm so sorry.
> 
> my next chapters will hopefully be a bit more organized but enjoy!!!
> 
> tw// mention of a panic attack

Bokuto felt a panic attack coming on.

He felt like this before performances now. 

They triggered them.

Usually his best friend was there to help him work through his attacks, but tonight he was in the audience with his boyfriend and the ‘friend’ he had insisted Bokuto needed to meet.

His therapist had asked him after the accident if he would continue performing since performances appeared to be a major trigger for him. He couldn’t really comprehend not performing anymore.

Sure before performances he felt sick with nerves, but during them he felt a feeling that he couldn’t get anywhere else.

His bandmates were a few of the only people who knew why he had taken a six month break from drumming.

He couldn’t imagine leaving them. 

They were some of the only family he had left now.

And performing was different from just playing the drums.

He knew he could still do it as a hobby, but it didn’t feel the same.

He needed to be able to release all his pent up frustration on his drum kit.

Drumming out words that he couldn’t find the letters to spell.

He wanted people to understand what he felt; to feel it too if only for the brief moment when he was on stage.

Drumming was like breathing for him

When he wasn’t able to drum for six months it was like being without his own lungs for half a year.

Like his heartbeat was all wonky; everything just felt off.

Not performing for six months had almost killed him.

Again.

*

Bokuto was snapped out of his thoughts by a sharp karate chop to his side.

“NEGATIVITY, BEGONE!”

Bokuto put on a smile he thought would convince Suga he had succeeded in ridding him of his negative thoughts.

“Suga!”

Suga cheered and clicked his heels.

“Bokuto!” 

Bokuto genuinely smiled now. 

He loved Suga and he always managed to cheer him up, his methods were strange but they worked.

“I heard Kuroo brought you a new friend this week.” 

Suga smirked and waggled his eyebrows.

“Huh?! who told you that.”

Bokuto wasn’t that surprised in all honesty though, Kuroo and Daichi were close friends, and Suga and Daichi were dating.

Well Bokuto thought they were dating at least but he wasn’t entirely sure.

Daichi wasn’t the type to kiss and tell.

And well Suga, Suga was another story, but he mostly respected Daichi’s privacy.

Suga might be chaotic but he wasn’t mean.

Drunk Suga was about as tight lipped as a two year old though.

“Daichi did!”

As he suspected Bokuto really was a genius.

“Damnit Kuroo needs to stop bringing guys he thinks I’ll like to our shows. Last time he did that he brought Kenma’s friend who’s dating our guitarist!”

“Oh my god I remember that. Shoyou thought he was just getting a free ticket to his boyfriend's concert. Kuroo was so shocked when Shoyou ran up to Tobio and kissed him after our set was over.”

Bokuto cringed at the memory.

“Well at least he hasn’t brought me a straight guy yet. Then we’ll really need to have a talk. He’s like a stray cat offering me dead animals everyday.”

“Bokuto! Don’t compare the men Kuroo tries -and fails to set you- up with to dead animals.”

Bokuto deflated when Suga mentioned the fact that every attempted setup for him had failed.

“Am I unlovable Suga, why don’t I have a boyfriend, why have all Kuroo’s set up’s failed?”

The more that Bokuto thought about it the more upset he got. 

Was he destined to be alone?

Was it his hair?!

No it wasn’t his hair his hair was awesome.

“Are you just gonna brush past the dead animals part Bokuto?”

Bokuto pouted.

“Yes.”

Before Suga had the chance to respond Iwaizumi joined them where they were waiting in the dressing room for the band before them to finish their set before they could start setting up.

“Suga! You didn’t put Bokuto in sad mode did you?!” 

Bokuto huffed and squared his shoulders.

“I did no such thing.” Suga stuck out his lower lip. “All I did was bring up the fact that Bokuto is incredibly single.”

Bokuto’s shoulders drooped.

“SUGA! Stop that! God even his hair is drooping at this point. Apologize!”

Bokuto turned to Iwaizumi.

“Iwa-chan do you think I’m unlovable?”

Suga started laughing then.

“He called you Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi sighed. 

“Bokuto I told you not to call me that.”

“But Oikawa does.” Bokuto pouted. “And you didn’t answer me. I am unlovable, that's right, that's why you won’t answer.”

“Oikawa calls me that because he’s a pain in the ass. And you’re not unlovable, you're just having a hard time finding someone.”

Bokuto perked up.

“I’m not unlovable?” 

Iwaizumi shook his head.

Bokuto hooted and grabbed Iwaizumi into a bear hug.

Iwaizumi just patted Bokuto on his back.

Just then a voice came over the small speaker in the corner of the room.

‘Next band please start setting up!’

Suga grinned and smeared some glitter on Iwaizumi’s nose before cackling and running away, calling back to them that he would see them on the stage.

Bokuto grabbed his drumsticks and ran out to join Suga.

When he made it to the stage his nerves started to disintegrate.

He was good at what he did -one of the best- he would do great tonight.

He grinned, this was gonna be fun.

He was scanning the audience for Kuroo hoping he might see the ‘friend’ he had brought.

He hoped he was cute.

And that’s when his eyes fell on him.

Oh my god.

Standing in the audience next to Kuroo was the most gorgeous man he had ever seen.

His grin doubled in size.

That was him it had to be.

He felt like falling onto his knees and worshiping Kuroo for having Kenma bring him tonight for Bokuto.

He opted for waving at him instead.

Before Kuroo noticed him though Bokuto made eye contact with the gorgeous man.

When their eyes met though the man’s hold on his drink seemed to tighten slightly as if he was scared of something.

Bokuto wanted to run and defend him from whatever scared him.

Even if it was Bokuto himself.

But before he could run to the man and possibly get kicked out of the venue Kuroo was waving his arms frantically at Bokuto and calling out his nickname.

Bokuto nodded then headed over to sit at his stool.

He was determined to play perfectly tonight.

-The songs I used for the next part-

I Always Knew-The Vaccines  
If You Wanna-The Vaccines

It was the last song of their set and Bokuto was doing great as usual. 

He was the best after all.

But he wanted their last song to be different.

He was determined to make the man feel his song.

He knew once he talked to him he wouldn’t be able to express all he wanted to say with words.

Words weren’t his forte; when he tries to spell out his emotions the letters all get tangled together.

But music was different.

He knew how he wanted his feelings to sound when he played them out.

The drums were part of him. 

He knew how to form sentences he never could speak with his music.

He loved the way his music flowed.

He felt the vibrations coming from the bass as his foot stepped on the bass pedal over and over again.

He nodded his head to the beat until all his senses picked up was drumming.

It was his entire world if only for those brief minutes he was playing.

And all too soon it was over.

Bokuto exhaled and let his posture relax.

He took a deep breath and hopped off the stage heading for Kuroo.

They talked but all he could really focus on was the gorgeous man standing near his side.

It was kind of awkward.

But Bokuto was good at breaking the tension in situations like that. 

“HEY HEY HEY! My name’s Bokuto!”

Nice solid greeting he thought to himself.

“Hello Bokuto-san I’m Akaashi.”

Oh god was he using honorifics that made the situation so much more tense.

He tried to think of a way to ease the tension.

A nickname!!!!!

“Kaashi it is!”

He noticed how Akaashi turned a faint shade of pink at the nickname.

He smiled. 

“Oh no Bo you can’t call him that!”

He chose to ignore Kuroo.

“No Bokuto-san it’s alright you can call me whatever you want.”

Bokuto felt something stir in stomach at what Akaashi said.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

He was just hungry, performing was a lot of work.

“Whatever he wants huh? Bo your pretty privilege is showing.”

Bokuto chose to ignore Kuroo again.

“So Kaashi are you coming to the after party to celebrate my awesomeness.”  
That’s right Bokuto was confident.

“Maybe, Kenma are you going?”

“No. My social battery is at zero. Let’s go Kuroo.”

“Oh well I should probably go home too then. I wouldn’t want to impose, and I would know no one.”

Bokuto refused to let their budding friendship or whatever this was fail because of Kenma’s antisocialness.

And so he rambled.

“What?! No way Kaashi you gotta! You know me right? Plus it’s only gonna be the rest of my band, and then some of their friends and stuff! Like 20 people tops! And my band’s super nice.”

“Ok.”

*

“So Agaashi do you actually want to go to this party?”

Akaashi looked at him with the same bored expression.

“Hm?”

“Well you just don’t really look like you want to go is all.”

Akaashi’s face still looked like a porcelain dolls; he wondered if that mask ever really cracked.

“I’ll go.”

He hooted.

As far as Bokuto could tell, just agreeing to go was enthusiastic for Akaashi.

Bokuto was elated.

Until Akaashi asked him if he wanted to take a lyft there together.

He panicked he couldn’t do that, not right now.

His brain couldn’t keep up with his words and before he knew it words were tumbling out of his mouth without abandon

“Oh no we don’t need to take a Lyft!! I’m super tense from sitting while drumming so we should walk. And we don’t need to spend unnecessary money on a Lyft anyway.”

Bokuto crossed his fingers behind his back hoping that would convince Akaashi not to take a Lyft.

“Alright.”

He grabbed Akaashi’s hand and pulled him in the direction of the hotel the party was at.

“Follow me!”

Akaashi glanced at their interlocked hands.

Bokuto realized he might be breaching Akaashi’s comfort zone so he released his hand.

His dad always told him he needed to be more considerate of people's personal space; he always tried to take the advice his dad had given him.

Lost in thought he almost didn’t notice that Akaashi had stopped walking.

He glanced back and saw him staring at his hands.

“You ok Kaashi?”

Akaashi just continued studying his hands before staring back at Bokuto with a look of boredom.

“Hm? Yeah. My hands are just kind of cold now.”

Bokuto spluttered.

“What?!”

He could feel his ears burning.

Akaashi brushed past him and grabbed his hand.

“Mm nothing.”

Bokuto stood there dumbstruck until he felt Akaashi’s hand tugging him forward once more.

*

When they arrived at the party Taylor Swift was blasting from the speaker on the table in the corner.

Oikawa must be controlling the music choice.

He could hear Oikawa and Iwaizumi arguing from where they stood in the entrance.

“Iwa-chan!!! If you don’t like Taylor’s music you’re clearly just misogynistic!! She is the music industry!!!!!!!!!!”

“No one wants to hear you trashy American pop shittykawa.”

Eventually someone wrestled the Bluetooth speaker from Oikawa's clutches.

The music started up again this time it was their band's music.

Bokuto had an idea.

“Hey, Kaashi!!”

“Yes Bokuto-san”

“Okay, first you can drop the honorific! We’re friends!” Akaashi’s eyes widened slightly. “And two!!!! Let’s dance!”

At this point Akaashi’s eyes looked like they would roll out of their sockets.

Okay that was a bit of an exaggeration but for him it was very expressive.

He looked kind of excited.

Maybe terrified was a better word but it was close enough.

“Bokuto this isn’t dancing music.” 

He smiled at hearing Akaashi say his name 

“Well maybe this isn’t traditional dancing music, but we can dance to whatever’s playing right now still!! Just pretend it’s some really dramatic song instead of K-pop or whatever Suga’s playing.”

“Okay, I guess.”

“It’s fine if you- wait okay?!” Bokuto’s face broke out into a smile. “I mean of course you said okay I’m awesome!!”

Bokuto dragged Akaashi into the middle of the room.

“Now we have to wait until a new song because we can’t start dancing to a song when it’s already started!!”

“Okay if you say so.”

He noticed how Akaashi blushed when he took his hand.

He grinned; how could someone have so many different sides to them.

Then he started moving them slowly throughout the song.

Waltzing throughout the room.

“Bokuto I didn’t agree to slow dance. what are you doing.”

“But Kaashi, this is more fun than regular dancing!! Plus it’s very main character like.”

Akaashi didn’t say anything, but he also didn’t say anything.

So he took that as okay to continue waltzing with him.

They spun throughout the room.

They weren’t very good, but they were having fun.

And it felt like they were the only two people in the entire world.

In that moment with Akaashi’s hand in his, and the feeling of having his hand on Akaashi’s waist, the feeling of holding Akaashi was all he knew.

Akaashi’s eyes reflected the cheap disco ball lights as if they held a whole galaxy in them.

And as far as he could tell they did.

Akaashi’s lips turned up into a small grin.

He smiled back.

And then it happened.

Something clicked in the back of Akaashi’s eyes, and before he knew it Akaashi had dropped his hand and ran from the room.

He was left standing there in the middle of the room.

His hands felt cold. 

In a room full of people Bokuto suddenly felt so alone.

He wasn’t sure what he had done.

Was it something he did?

Did he make Akaashi uncomfortable somehow?

There was only one way to find out what it was, but he wasn’t sure if he should follow him.

Would that be breaching some invisible barrier between them?

They had only known each other for a couple of hours, but Bokuto already felt connected to him for some reason.

So he took a leap of faith and decided to follow him.

Now he just needed to figure out where Akaashi went.

After talking to four different people Iwaizumi pointed him in the direction of the roof.

He slowly made his way up the stairs, contemplating what he would say to Akaashi when/if he found him.

He didn’t want to come off too strong and intimidate him, but he also wanted to seem strong enough that Akaashi could rely on him

He reached the door that led to the roof and pushed it open expecting nothing.

Akaashi had probably headed home.

But when he turned the corner that led to the wide expanse of roof he saw Akaashi laying down and watching the stars.

“Akaashi?”

Akaashi’s head jerked up.

He seemed slightly dazed, and his eyes were red rimmed.

The porcelain had cracked.

“Bokuto-san?”

He looked so fragile at that moment.

He looked so broken.

Nothing like the Akaashi he thought he knew.

Akaashi was smart, sarcastic, and practical.

He didn’t cry while watching the stars.

But then again.

He just kept surprising him.

And Bokuto knew he wanted to learn all he could about Akaashi while he had the time.

He knelt on the ground and opened his arms for Akaashi.

Akaashi stared at him with a question in his eyes.

Bokuto gave him a faint smile trying to convey to him with his facial expressions all the comfort he wanted to try to give him.

Akaashi seemed to understand without either of them having to say anything.

They sat there like that for a while neither moving or trying to talk about what happened.

With his arms wrapped around Akaashi’s middle.

Trying to transfer his warmth to the other.

Eventually they separated and headed back inside.

He never brought up Akaashi’s abrupt leaving, or his tear streaked face.

Just offered his silence like a blanket.

And together they walked out of the building before heading their separate ways.

Akaashi to an Lyft and Bokuto down the street on foot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!!
> 
> I'm functioning on like 4 hours of sleep so I'm sorry if this makes no sense. gotta love finals!!
> 
> it was just my birthday too which is fun!!
> 
> if updates aren't regular I'm sorry my mom and I are having some issues right now. gotta love family drama.
> 
> anyways all comments, kudos, and bookmarks make my day I love you all so much! mwah!! :)

**Author's Note:**

> well um we'll see if I end up finishing this next chapter I'll introduce the rest of the band members. sorry if this seems really inconsistent personality wise. I'm my own editor and I am very very lazy.  
> but yeah!  
> my twitters- https://twitter.com/mango54180459  
> and my tumblrs- https://mangofields.tumblr.com/  
> I also have a playlist I was using to write this here's the link to that as well! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1c428OMVnhObFBHBEmmurB?si=rdq3rAxYTp-mtEhOcq9Gcg


End file.
